interview_rallison

INTERVIEWER: (played by someone who looks like Katie Couric) Janette, thank you for taking time out of your international book tour to speak with us. I know the public is clamoring to find out more about you.

JANETTE: (played by someone who looks like me, but with thinner thighs.) Why, thank you. I’m glad to be here.

INTERVIEWER: Your books are all fabulous and I’m sure they’ve made you a very wealthy woman, but tell us . . . Has anything you’ve written about ever happened to you?

JANETTE: Just the embarrassing stuff. I really did once have to endure a car ride wearing a possessed cat on my head. (See All&# 8217;s Fair in Love, War, and High School)

INTERVIEWER: Did you always want to be a writer?

JANETTE: No, originally I wanted to be a ballerina, but that was mostly just so I could wear a tutu.

INTERVIEWER: What are some of the stepping stones you took to become a writer?

JANETTE: Well, I took advanced English class during junior year. I felt very important to be in the class until the teacher told me my writing was boring and full of clichés. This taught me an important lesson that I’ve drawn on several times over the years—never listen to your English teacher. (Kidding!) What I really learned is that the first draft is not always the best.

INTERVIEWER: Have you ever written something you’ve regretted?

JANETTE: Yes, every single poem I ever wrote to a boyfriend. I’m not sure why I thought I was a poet or why I thought guys wanted to read poetry. (I mean, when was the last time you saw a guy walking around with an Emily Dickinson book tucked under his arm?)

INTERVIEWER: What is the main thing you hope readers will get from your stories?

JANETTE: A good laugh. Teenagers tend to worry too much about school, clothes, peers, and where they fit in to the great popularity race. Life is too funny not to stop and enjoy the absurdity of it.

INTERVIEWER: Do you ever get writer’s block?

JANETTE: Sure. My muse often wanders off in search of more interesting things to do, and I have to lure her back to the computer using Almond Joys. (At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

INTERVIEWER: What would you do if you weren’t writing books?

JANETTE: Cleaning—which is why I will be an author for a very long time. Who wants to clean the fridge out?

INTERVIEWER: What do you do in your spare time?

JANETTE: I have no spare time because I have five children. I’ve heard about spare time though, and I’m looking forward to eventually having some. I think I’ll go to the library and never come out again.

INTERVIEWER: What is your best teenage memory?

JANETTE: The time I made the winning touchdown at a high school football game. Okay, so it was a game of flag football played during PE. No one was covering me because no one thought I could catch the ball. Until I actually caught the ball, I was one of the unbelievers myself. But nevertheless, super-hunk Bobby Bashaw threw the pass to me and I didn’t drop it.

INTERVIEWER: What was your worst teenage memory?

JANETTE: Every junior high school dance. (See Playing the Field)

INTERVIEWER: Well that’s all we have time for. The complete interview is available at www.walkeryoungreaders.com. Thank you for all of your insightful answers. Oh, and on your way out could you stop by the green room? Orlando Bloom is there and he wants to get your autograph.